I Had An abortion And I’m Okay.

I'm 21 years old, and I just had my first abortion; I was terrified of what was gonna happen, and these stories helped.

I was 10 days late, and I'm never that late, so I just knew something was wrong, and I had panic attack after panic attack until the day of my doctor’s appointment. I got there hoping and just praying that I was not pregnant, & then he got me to pee in a cup, and within minutes he came and said, " I guess this is congratulations.” My stomach just dropped. I was not ready for this, and I knew damn sure I wasn't ready to raise a child...

I called my boyfriend of 5 years as soon as I found out, and luckily for me, he supported my choice to terminate. I called the women's clinic the second I left the doctor’s office, and she booked me in as soon as Tuesday; I was so happy I didn't have to wait another week. But the days leading up to that appointment were the worst. I did so much research and read so many bad things that could go wrong, and I just scared the absolute shit out of myself. My boyfriend tried to be supportive, but he can't always handle my anxiety, and I get it. Lucky for me, I had 3 of the best friends I could ever ask for; they were here for me day in and day out.

Tuesday came, and it had snowed more than I could've imagined, and everything shut down. I was so nervous for Tuesday, and then I had to wait another day, and my anxiety was just through the roof at this point. Finally, Wednesday came, and my best friend drove me down to the clinic because my boyfriend had work and no one is allowed to come in with me anyway. It was a super quick appointment; they did an ultrasound, which was cold, but it wasn't as uncomfortable as I had heard it would be. The nurses and the doctor were so sweet; they went over everything, and when to take the pills and what would happen, and then I took the first pill and was sent on my way.

Forward to the next day, and I woke up at 10:30 am and went to pee and noticed I had already started bleeding a little. I got so worried I called the on-call nurse right away, and she assured me that it was okay and some people just start the process earlier than others. She told me to take the four pills, though, and just watch the bleeding. I  had roughly an hour before I had to stick the four pills in my gums. I was so scared and wasn't ready at all. I made a coffee, grabbed some water, and headed back to bed (at this point I was ready to be bedridden all day). 11:30 comes, and I take 2 Advil, 2 Tylenol & 2 Gravol, then I stick the four pills in my gums at 12 pm ( it's gross, I'm warning you now!!). It didn't take long at all before I started to cramp and bleed more.

The cramps hurt, I'm not gonna lie, but honestly on a scale from 1-10 it was maybe a 5, like they were tolerable, I was able to walk around and do stuff, and the Advil helps a lot. I bled a decent amount and passed 2 semi-big clots throughout the day; it doesn't hurt! Just feels weird, like that is the only way I can describe it.. but the bleeding slowed down by nighttime, and the next day it was literally no worse than any other period. I suggest heating pads, honestly, and lots of Advil; that will help with the cramps so much!

Fast forward and it's been a week tomorrow that I took the pills and I feel good, I have my bad days where my emotions get the best of me and my boyfriend can't really handle it so I've felt a little lonely through the process & still a little crampy here and there and still bleeding but I feel good, I feel like myself again, I have an appointment tomorrow to confirm everything worked and went well!

This website helped me more than anything else in the world and I swore as soon as I was ready I was going to tell my story to help others like me, scared and alone. Don't ever let anyone tell you what to do with your body! I am 21 years old, and I had an abortion, and it was the best decision I could have made.